Personal Fundamental Truths

Personal Fundamental Truths

I have been thinking and reviewing for some time. Today, I focused.  

During this time of so many planets being in retrograde I decided to take advantage of the energy and go deeply within.

In looking back moving towards the present to understand my personal wisdom of Truth…
I look at my 1^st serious relationship – my first husband. I held such a love and passion for him that it was all-consuming (the energy of youth). Our relationship was electric. Because of the intensity of the love we shared – I know that this love never dies. I am no longer “in love” with him – that all consuming nature of the relationship was killed – but, there is still a love there for what we shared, the daughter we produced and the teachings within the relationship.

The relationship was so intense that we burned a bit of each other up within what we held. He couldn’t maintain. We separated while I was pregnant. The day before I gave birth he and I went off together to talk. He told me, on that day … “I don’t love you anymore…”

The Truth within his statement: To say that at that time meant he had never loved me.
In time I have come to realize that I don’t know, if at that time in his life, he even knew what love was.

I moved forward with life on a crash course and made decisions that were and still are questionable.
Why I made these choices is anyone’s guess … but, probably to run away from the Truth that he never loved me and how much this crushed my innate soul.

This has propelled me to understand the wisdom of “me” and it has been a long hard road.
Do I share this with everyone? No.  Do I dwell on all of these experiences? No.
Do I, instead, work to try to understand the wisdom of the Truth within all of my choices? Yes.

Now, that prevalent challenge relationship is with my daughter.
Through years of her doing everything in her power to keep me at a distance and to do whatever she can do to separate our relationship – she is succeeding.
She has made a comment to me that she, “doesn’t remember me ever doing much for her or being present throughout her upbringing…” 

The Truth of this statement: She has created a scenario that she feels gives her the permission to disconnect from me. 

Throughout all of the years of feeling her do this, I have come to terms with the fact that this is what she has designed as her Truth and because of this, there is truly nothing I can do.
Another Truth: There have been aspects from her past that she feels the need to punish me.
The question I must ask myself, “Do I deserve this punishment?”
The answer to this question is “No”.  Am I going to continue to allow myself to feel punished? No.
Will I love, support and be here for her? Always.

This has taken me to another place of contemplation and that is in regard to the relationship with my family. I have always been the one that is a tad “different” and oftentimes “misunderstood”.

This has brought me through the years to different places of understanding the wisdom of my Truth.
I have understood that I am a Gnostic and the best definition I have found of this is that I am one who, “receives spiritual enlightenment through direct experience”.

What this means is that no one – family, friends, clergy, etc can talk and talk and talk and it does nothing for me until I personally experience the Truth of the Knowing within. That is when I am inspired and when I feel the presence of the most high.

I have come to the conclusion…
No one has the right to tell me or anyone else how to believe or not to believe. No one has the right to say what I or anyone else that any believe is wrong.  In turn, I don’t have the right to attempt to do this to anyone else.

We are individuals and our path to that which is the most high is our own and is unique.
Is how I believe right for me? Yes.   Is how I believe right for everyone? No.

I believe in God. I don’t believe God is this omnipresent male figure on a throne.
I believe in God. I don’t believe God is to be feared but to be highly regarded with awe.
I believe in God. I don’t believe in separation – in that we are separated from God. I believe I am a cell within the body of God.
Within the teachings of Yeshua and his reference to “we are all children | sons and daughters of God” teaches we are “family” and in this hold the same spiritual blueprint (much as DNA familial aspect of the physical).

I love Yeshua. I don’t believe he is God. I believe through his teaching he was referring to himself and all of us in an inclusive way.
I love Yeshua. I don’t believe he is more than I am. I believe we are equals in he teachings … “these things that I do, you will do more…” I believe in the instruction to strive to rise above with wings of eagles.

I love Yeshua. I believe he loves me in the same way.

I have a personal relationship with God – within the energy of Abba/Father.
I have a distinctly personal relationship with Yeshua.

Because the way my relationships are my own – Truth for me - gives no one the right to tell me otherwise.

I stand firm in my understanding of the wisdom of “love”.
We all deserve to know and to feel “love”. This understanding and wisdom is unique for each of us.

I stand firm in my understanding the wisdom of my relationship with my daughter.
I love her. | I support her. | I am always here for her.
Do I have to accept her perceptions of our relationship? No.
Do I have to accept her punishment of me? No.

My responsibility is to me within this relationship. It is my responsibility to simply be here in love and to allow her the processing time she needs – no matter how long this takes.

Am I here to allow her to punish me? No, I don’t allow this from her or anyone else.
Am I here to be guilted? No, I am here only to love.

I am accountable and responsible for me. If I keep myself within my Truth – 

the absolute best me I can be.

In this, it is my intent and prayer that this reflection will show itself 

within the various relationship aspects of my life.

The Master Teacher Yeshua taught in the Lord’s Prayer – Forgiveness.
I Forgive myself for all short comings within my physical life – I Forgive all others for the same.
I am Mercifully Compassionate towards myself in my physical life – I am Mercifully Compassionate towards all others within this same energy.
I am moving towards a Joyful existence within this Physical life.

In this I transform and become as Christ-Like as possible – one who is anointed in the Spirit that is known as the “God” presence.

Shalom Aleichem