And the dance lives on... in Memory of Orville Lee Harms

I wrote this in Memory of my Father-In-Law, Orville Lee Harms.

I had thought I’d share this at his Memorial Service but, wasn’t able to do so. Because of this I have made a decision to share it here on my blog. 

I am an observer and in this am here today to share with you my observations not only of Orville but of this entire family.

My 1^stexperience was in the Fall of 2003 when Lynn and I first began dating.
There was a family get-together being created and I was asked by Lynn if I’d like to join in.
I was a tad apprehensive as we all know what “Meeting the Parents” can be like.

I immediately realized there was no need for apprehension. The moment I walked through the door I was warmly embraced by the essence of ‘family’ and in this, regardless of anything outside the door, I was included. This was something I had never experienced.

My 2^ndexperience was again the same year of 2003. This family had been going together to CU Boulder for a Christmas Concert each year. In 2003 and in the years to follow, as family, I was invited to join. Yes, the concert was beautifully done and experienced. But, there was more … it was how this family joined together to share in such experiences.

After the concert was over and we were walking to the car in the cold and snow, Orville and Bonnie were walking ahead of Lynn and I. Her arm was tucked in his and her head was leaned over on his shoulder. It was the sweetest moment I think I ever observed. I knew right then that the man I was walking with had this as an example and I knew this was the man I wanted to share the rest of my life with.

As an observer, I began to deepen my observations of this extraordinary family.

My initial impression of Orville was his quietness, his smile, his twinkling eyes and of course, his presence.

I saw, after awhile, he wasn’t always quiet. When he had something to say or share, his voice became the one all listened to. He held such a gentle and yet firm wisdom that we all so respected.

He would tell stories of being on the farm … and, as a ‘farm girl’ I could certainly relate.
He shared his knowledge and was always there to help in any way he could.
He wasn’t one to say “I love you” but, his actions always spoke much louder than any words could. He was always there to offer a hug and support.

Not one of us who are part of his family ever doubted his love for us. It was apparent daily.

He too, was an observer and in this he observed all of us. He knew us intimately through his observations. He knew where we were challenged and he knew where our strengths were. He knew how to bring out the best in each of us.

He never made a decision without great thought, care and research of which much was through observation. His beautiful mind never stopped in creating ways to enhance his family’s life.

Family. To Orville, biological family was THE most important thing in life. But, family wasn’t just limited to those biologically connected. There was his Tempte Family, his church family and other various forms of extended ‘family’. Once within the embrace of this generous soul, one was simply ‘family’.

As to making decisions, the key decision he made for his life was choosing his partner, Bonnie Jean.
Together they were a delightful power to contend with. This is the legacy that you see today.

I believe that every soul leaves an impact and in this an imprint on our world, our lives and our consciousness. To me, Orville is no exception.

There is a Hebrew phrase “tikkun olam”that translates as ‘repair of the world’. It is believed that through this and as we connect with others this is then radiated outwards.

The imprint I observe in the love of his life, Bonnie … is the connection between two souls and how this can change the world. To me, individually and connectively – they are both part of “tikkun olam” and extended out into the various aspects of family. This is profound.

To close this sharing, I offer more observation:

In Orville’s son Lynn, I see his determination to weigh out all odds before making a decision. No decision is ever made rashly without great thought of impact on others.

In Orville’s son Gary, I see his quick wit and brilliance of mind. In the connection with Gary’s wife Vicky, I see an extension of these aspects and how they come together in the sharing of knowledge.

In Orville’s daughter Anne, I see his love for beauty and the continuity of family and of gathering.

Last but, definitely not least:
In Orville’s daughter Karen, I see his deep love, compassion and commitment. In the connection with Karen’s husband Del I see this solidified in doing and being whatever is needed … whenever.

I could go on with grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great-granchildren but suffice to say, this legacy lies on and the imprint never leaves.

Dance Dance, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the Dance, said he,
I'll lead you all, wherever you may be,
I'll lead you all in the Dance, said he

And the dance lives on…

Thank you.